Throw Away Everything You Know About First Dates

What comes to mind when you’re about to go out with your lady friend for the first time?
Maybe a candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant? A romantic stroll down the beach and a picnic paired with her favorite wine?
All of that sounds fine, but NOT on the first date.
To avoid looking desperate, you need to rethink how the first date fits in the big picture. This isn’t the time to bombard her with the romantic stuff; instead, it’s your chance to know each other a little better.
Laying the Groundwork
Remember: proper seduction is all about gradual escalation.
Most women don’t want to feel rushed into something they’re not ready for. So, your first date should go by two simple guidelines:
- Keep it short and sweet; anything over an hour is too much
- Make her feel good around your presence

If you can pull that off, you’ll be able to leave things on a positive note until you see her again.
Plus, you’re not going to create a good first impression by letting the first date drag on and on. Boredom is not a good feeling to have.
With that said, it’s best to plant that seed of attraction early on by coming in prepared.
Ask yourself, “What is she into?”
Chances are you have the same interests (since you liked her enough to ask her out), or she likes something you’re willing to learn more about. Find out what it is and read up on it.
Knowing her type also gives you an idea of where to take her. For now, meet her somewhere that seems more casual than romantic. Try a coffee shop (if she’s the intellectual type) or a bowling alley (for the sports-minded ladies) to keep things pressure-free.
Remember, a little homework never killed an Alpha Male.

In the Field
Armed with a rough idea of what to talk about, the next step is to employ a simple yet powerful technique to ensure conversational success.
Get her going with a little right-back-at-you language. Allow me to explain:
- Let’s say she tells you about that eye-opening foreign student exchange program she did years ago. So, the takeaway is that she’s into traveling and exploring other cultures.
- You shoot this right back at her by saying the “same” thing: “Hey, that’s pretty cool…I remember spending the summer at my grandfather’s farm for the first time. I was mostly raised in the city, so it was a totally different world – in a good way. It’s awesome being out of your comfort zone and trying something new, you know what I mean?”
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What attracts women

In attracting women, sometimes, you can be so focus on trying to be impressive that you can be over the top and instead of attracting them, you’d be scaring them away.
It’s essential to always remember to keep it simple and true. And this article will take you to those important basics that you need to know.
Stay Alpha,
- Carlos Xuma

Title: What attracts women
Women can be some of the most confusing creatures on earth. If you are trying to attract women you can get it wrong when you think you are doing everything right.
The question every man asks at some point in their life is this.

What attracts women?
Is it good looks?
And what do you do to attract women if you are not on the Forbes richest men in America list?
Here are some tips for the everyday guy to catch the eye of women everywhere…
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When Should I Leave Her Alone?

You’ve known that women like to be pursued and you’re more than willing to pursue them. But, when you meet a woman you really like to get-to-know better and take out on a date…
How would you know when to stop pushing and pursuing? How do you know when to back off?
Read this article and find out. It could be your life-saver – from being labeled a jerk, stalker or worse a “creep.”
Stay Alpha,
- Carlos Xuma

Title: When Should I Leave Her Alone?
So, when do you know when to back off? The first time she genuinely, explicitly rejects you, that’s when. No one can blame you for making the overture, but she’s not under any obligation to accept it, either.
Sure, now might not be a good time for a particular girl due to any number of circumstances, but she’ll let you know that. There’s a difference between “thanks for the offer, but I can’t this weekend” and “thanks, but I’m not interested.”
Now, is there such a thing as a woman who’ll meter her affection based on how much and how hard you pursue her?
Yes, but those women are looking to take …
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We All Might Be Better Off If We Went on Blind Dates

They say expectation breeds disappointment. So why not jettison your perfectly manicured, full-bodied, blue-wearing online dating profile picture for a blank gray avatar? Blind dates might not be so bad after all. They don’t have to be dead.
That’s just one of the big reveals that came out of OkCupid’s recently relaunched OkTrends blog, the cultural phenomenon that in years past has discovered that people who have sex on first dates love the taste of beer and people who use Twitter obsessively don’t stay in relationships for very long. The blog, which had been on a far-too-long three year hiatus, is back in action and quick to confess that it’s been experimenting. With all of us.
Christian Rudder, co-founder of OkCupid and writer of the legendary blog, explains that if you’re on the internet, you’re bound to be the subject of hundreds of experiments. Because, as he puts succinctly, “that’s how websites work.” While Facebook might still be getting heat for giving us a dose of the sads via a news feed experiment, OkCupid’s been tinkering around with your dating profile to try to understand what makes dates actually work.
In order to promote their blind dating app in January 15, 2013, on a day OkCupid likes to call “Love Is Blind Day,” the company removed all pictures from the site. The effect? Mostly everybody stopped using OkCupid (c’mon, people want to know if other people are hot!). But here’s where it gets interesting: of the people who stayed on OkCupid during the 7-hour blackout, they were responding to first messages 44 percent more often, conversations went deeper, and contact details were given out more rapidly. What about the early adopters of the blind dating app? Data showed that they men and women had a good time on their dates, regardless of how good-looking their partner was. So why didn’t looks matter, however briefly, in these two instances? Most likely because the initial, photo-free connection was pretty genuine. Unibrows, funky hairlines, and questionable shirts didn’t matter as much in light of real rapport.
But once OkCupid flipped the switch and the pictures came back, conversations were halted. Phone numbers recoiled from the outstretched virtual hands. “Hey cuties” dwindled. The takeaway: “people are exactly as shallow as their technology allows them to be.”
OkTrends‘ other findings include comparing personality vs. looks and the power of suggestion. But I won’t spoil the fun for you.