4 ways you’re sabotaging your date – and don’t even know It

We’ve all been there before:
Just when you think you’re about to lock down that incredibly cute, too-good-to-be-real girl you’re dating, she suddenly goes cold.
Without warning, she makes up a half-hearted excuse on the fly about having a full schedule the next day, then leaves you high and dry.
So now you’re feeling defeated and confused, not knowing where it all went to hell.
Well, let’s sift through the wreckage, shall we? Sometimes, it helps to retrace your steps to find out exactly why she didn’t fall for your manly charms.
#1: You Suck at Logistics
Women like men who are in control, so guys who have all the bases covered send an important message that can make or break that first impression.
And that message is, “I’m a guy who won’t screw things up when it’s crunch time.”
This all-important social signal will flip that switch in her brain that will make her want to sleep with you – so make sure you have everything planned out before going into execution mode.

Here are some details to watch out for:

Did you put enough effort into your appearance?

Looks are something you’re born with, but you need to have your style and hygiene under control. Iron out these details before game time so you don’t focus your energy on worrying about how you smell or if your shirt looks ok.

Speaking of which, get your buddies to chime in.

They’ll let you know if you need to ditch your outfit or tweak a few details. At the same time, they can give you a heads-up about that cool bar that just opened up – or that place that gave them food poisoning last week.

Find out what she likes beforehand

So you won’t take her somewhere that will clash with her food preferences (although if she’s WAY too picky, that might be a sign of trouble down the road – just saying).

Don’t let the unexpected derail your plans.

Have that proverbial ace up your sleeve in case a wild card comes along. Also, don’t have a hissy fit if something slips through the cracks. Remember, she wants a man in control – not a man-child with a tantrum.
#2: You’re Too Intense
An Alpha Male knows how to pace himself. He doesn’t crank up his seduction game too quickly; building comfort is a gradual process.
In this day and age where it’s easy for women to screen out guys at the first sign of trouble, putting her at ease is one of your top priorities.
Keep these points in mind to set the pace just right:

For first dates, avoid anything she might deem “too heavy”.

Save the fancy dinner for when you know each other better – opt for fun and casual venues, such as a bar or coffee place that’s accessible for you both. Eventually, you can up the ante after she’s “earned” your affections.

Don’t talk to her about depressing crap.

You’re better off having those conversations much further down the road, like when you’re already an exclusive couple.

So for now, don’t kill the fun vibe by rehashing your painful, scarred past.

Resist the urge to fill her in on your last breakup or the time when that girl in your fifth grade class mocked your love poem in front of everyone.
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7 Things Men Can Learn From Fifty Shades Of Grey

Have you ever wondered what’s up with the Fifty Shades of Grey book (and now the movie)?
Women are going crazy over it, and whenever Christian Grey’s name is brought up, they’re all breathless dreaming and thinking about him.
So, what’s up with this fictional character that makes women swoon? If you want to find out, read this article now.
You might be surprise to learn a thing or two from Mr. Grey.
Stay Alpha,
– Carlos Xuma

Title: 7 Things Men Can Learn From Fifty Shades Of Grey
Ever heard of Fifty Shades Of Grey?
It’s a recent cultural phenomenon loved (and hated) by people of all ages.
And before I dive into it…
Yes, the books are terribly written.
Yes, the books were written as Twilight fan fiction.
Yes, the books romanticize certain damaging relationship habits.
And yes, the books represent a laughably unrealistic viewpoint of what kink/BDSM relationships look like.
BUT… to not try and learn something from a book series that so clearly hit a nerve on such a massive scale would be silly.
So here’s what you need to know…
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The ONE thing you shouldn’t change about yourself

I often talk to guys who don’t seem to find the happiness they really want from women.
It’s not rare to see these men dating women they’re not absolutely into – while waiting for “That Girl” they’re really dreaming about.
All I have to say to these guys is, “Don’t hold your breath, pal.”
The fact is that this dream woman won’t just magically appear without doing what it really takes.
And so, you’re doomed to have a “lather, rinse, repeat” kind of dating life if you’re unwilling to embrace a simple truth.
And that truth is: Women like guys who act like REAL MEN.
Not some spineless, submissive shell of a person, but an actual MAN who’s not afraid of his masculinity.
Time and time again, you’ll run into these guys who “respect” women so much that they completely stay away from them. This type of guy thinks that showing the slightest hint of attraction or creating sexual tension is somehow unhealthy.
But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Any guy – or any person with a brain stem for that matter – is hardwired to be attracted to attractive people. Simple as that.
If you want to get a girl you really want, you have to be willing to take that leap of faith to approach a lady AND drop hints – along with some sexual intrigue.
Note that dropping hints doesn’t mean “complimenting” certain parts of her body or being a creep. What I’m saying is that you should grow a pair and talk to a girl, tease her in a fun, non-threatening way and loosen up around them.
If you try to change that part of yourself that drives you to seek potential partners and romantic relationships (a.k.a. Being a Man), then you’re just going to give off a weird “let’s-be-platonic-friends-so-we’ll-be-lovers-later-on” kind of vibe.
Dating just doesn’t work that way.
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How To Be a Better Boyfriend in 4 Easy Steps

When was the last time your girl asked your help with something? Maybe it was her wi-fi at home, or that time when she got a flat tire on her way to work.
Whatever it was, it’s an awesome feeling when you’re able to get your woman out of a jam. It fuels your inner Superman knowing that you’re looking out for your loved ones.
The thing is, there are times when your lady won’t want you to actually help her out. And if you try being Mr. Problem Solver, she’ll just get worked up and even show you the door.
What gives?
You just wanted to make her load lighter, but now you feel like crap because you can’t be there for her like you want to be.
Well, here’s some food for thought: being a good partner means understanding when you don’t have to roll up your sleeves and do the work for her.
Here are some ways to help her without actually helping her:
#1: Shut Up and Keep Your Ears Peeled
Ok, so the one time you shouldn’t dive in and break out a solution is when she’s venting to you over something that’s bothering her.
You’ve probably experienced this yourself. There she is, talking about her rotten co-worker who, according to her, is a “Grade A bitch who’s out to bring me down with her.”
Being the no-nonsense dude that you are, your brain goes into crisis management mode. So now you’ve come up with a detailed response plan on how to handle her nemesis at work, but your lady isn’t hearing any of it.

Instead, she’s even angrier than before. All you wanted was to give her some sage advice, but she threw it back in your face.
You’re there, scratching your head, wondering what the hell just happened.
Well, the first thing to do in this situation is absolutely nothing aside from lending an ear to her woes. Resist the urge to chime in to “fix the problem” because that’s not what she wants from you.
Let her vent her emotions and just listen to what she has to say. Trust me, this will help you move along to the next step.
#2: Remember: It’s Not Really What She’s Mad About
The point then, is that she simply wants someone to listen to her as he lets off some steam in your ear.
That’s the reason why she talked to you about it, anyway. By letting her walk you though the latest chapter in her personal soap opera, you’re actually solving the immediate problem.
And that problem is that she’s pissed off, regardless of what caused it in the first place. So, your role as the good boyfriend is to make sure she gets it all out of her system so she can go back to being functional in the world again.
Be there for her, but step aside and let it happen. After the dust settles, she’ll have the clarity to actually do something about that horrible co-worker of hers.
In the meantime, embrace the emotional turbulence.
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